Daydreamer

I live deep inside my dreamy head

Where fantasy is real and reality is dead

And I’ve forgotten all the tears I’ve shed

From all the evil things he’s said

 

A place only I know could exist

Where words hit hard like a steel fist

Where he and I never kissed

And my love in no way goes dismissed

 

A beautiful world where I can be weird

Where all hate has disappeared

And my true wildness isn’t feared

My pure self can’t be interfered

 

An imaginary life of happy lies

With hidden truths in a sweet disguise

Where something forms from the simplest of hi’s

And a man finds his answers in my eyes

 

When stars flicker just for us and nights never have to end

Is it really so wrong for me to pretend?

Me Without You

I lost myself in a dream of you

Only to find

Our reality was my nightmare

I slowly burned my morals

For you

Picking apart my very soul

To please the dark in you

I bathed myself in a pool

Of self-loathing thoughts

I chipped my heart away

Until my love was nothing more

Than shattered remnants of

A beautiful soul cast out

Broken

Lost

Forgotten

Maybe you didn’t notice

If only

You would loosen your grip

On my aching heart

You might see

The flicker in the dust

The flame in the ashes

The glow in the shadows

Of our bitter truth

The filth that

Love couldn’t reach

You can’t see it

But

That fire that grows

That blaze that burns

Slightly brighter everyday

Is me

Rebirthing for something new

You don’t own me

Your control is slipping

And finally

I can breathe again

I can be me

Without you

And that kills you

My resurrection is killing you

But I won’t stop

You’ll never stifle me

I remember who I am

Away from you

And I adore

Every bit of me

Because Black is Your Favorite Color

You stare fearfully from across the room

As the darkness seeps from inside my head

It escapes, spilling from these eyes of gloom

And drips upon the edge of this bed

 

You watch it writhing in its own filthy pool

Staining sheets and skin with a mystic splash

Remembering the times you played me for a fool

When you were god and I, your trash

 

I hated you, the black, it grew

It festered, filling every thought

Now it flows, it’s coming for you

For all your sins, you will be caught

 

I look at you with bleeding eyes

Are you scared of me and all my hate?

I smile wickedly at your terror-filled cries

You should be, dear, for I’ve sealed your fate

 

Currently listening to Control by Halsey

Drowning In You

You are the wildest ocean to lick my skin

Your eyes

The softest blue to ever swallow me

Your hands

The untamed waves that caress my form

Groping me in places that were meant to be hidden

But I have never been good at hiding

From the touch of a ravenous sea

So deep

So powerful

 

I thirst for all of you

I drink in your ripples

Until you choke me

I’m drifting deeper into you

Searching for a shore to save me

 

I panic

You splash

I don’t know how

To stop from drowning in your depths

And you don’t know how

To let me swim freely

So I fill my lungs with your current

Your tide carries me with a bold force

To new, softer waters

Where I find my own way

For I’ve been floating in you for far too long

 

I claim the shore

As I learn to walk again

And every now and then

I come back

If only just to dip

My toes in you

Once more

Poetry In Her Eyes

Did you forget

The first time you felt lost in a stunning stare

Only to realize

You were found in that pair

Of beautifully entrancing brown eyes

 

Did you forget

The electric surge so rare

That pierced through your feeble disguise

Releasing your every care

Barrelling through the lies

 

Did you forget

How they demolished your every despair

Stealing constellations from the skies

Giving life to a new air

Where she is your glorious prize

 

Did you forget

That fiercely dreamy glare

Luring deep desirous sighs

That undeniably enticing dare

Drawing out your feverish cries

 

Did you forget

The poetry you spoke from a single flare

Igniting a spark as soon as it flies

Undressing your heart until it’s bare

Living a dream before it dies

 

Don’t forget when you found in me

That powerful need to be free

Only The Wild

This is an erotic excerpt from my unpublished work called, Only The Wild. I hope you all enjoy.

 

He plucks the flower and offers it to me with a charming smile. I breathe in its sweet aroma and place it carefully in my hair. A lock of my hair falls over my face and he brushes it behind my ear. I silently wish for a kiss and he studies my face as if he can read the words off my lips. He gives me a soft, long kiss and my hand travels through his hair.

“I missed you,” he whispers on my lips.

“I needed to see you,” I admit with slight desperation.

“I’m here. I’m always waiting for you.”

We always meet somewhere new and spend hours talking and holding hands. He tells me things that would break a normal heart which leads me to believe he’s no ordinary soul. He doesn’t seem to be one who would hold back or take his time on anything but that’s what he did with me. In his stories, he’s reckless and chaotic but with me he’s a different person. I can’t tell if he’s cautiously waiting to trust me or if he’s genuinely taking it slow.

Our first kiss was like a scene from a movie. He took me to the lake and we reminisced about how we first met. He held me in the steady water under the stars. He leaned in and I thought he would finally kiss me, but he didn’t and I realized, he was scared. He was scared I would leave him like everyone else in his life. He only touched his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. I held his hand to my heart so he could feel it race from his touch. His eyes were fixed on mine when suddenly we felt the pitter patter of soft raindrops splashing on our skin. We looked around and smiled at our luck.

“We’re already wet,” I stated the silver lining.

It was as if I spoke his life’s motto that no other person has ever quite understood. “You’re something out of a dream,” he said with a grin and leaned in once more, this time with purpose. His kiss was strong as if to make up for lost time. His lips indulged in a craving he denied himself for far too long. As the rain continued to fall, we were swept up in the magic of that moment.

I’ve never had a first kiss quite like that and they only get better. Every kiss from his lips is a thrill and I lose all inhibitions. As the memory of that night envelops my senses, I utter, “Take me away.” Just as the words spill out, he lifts me up and kisses me harder. My legs wrap around him and a car horn honks as it passes us.

“Not here, come with me.” He drops me gently on my feet and takes my hand. We race off just a few blocks down the street and into the woods where we stop in front of a rustic, little cabin.

“This is your place?”

“Mhmm,” he barely speaks as he opens the door and pulls me inside.

He presses his lips against mine, kicking the door closed behind us. He leads me into his bedroom where he stops and kisses me wildly. There’s a heat between us that can’t be contained. We melt into each other on the bed as our clothes slip off our bodies. He kisses me all over and I moan softly. His touch is sensual and strong. He takes his time exploring my body with every passion-filled second. I’ve never made love in such a way that satisfied every inch of my skin. His hands grope along the smoothness of my back, moving to my sides and over my breasts. His tongue tastes every part of me and his eyes watch my every move intently as if he refuses to miss even the slightest second of pleasure written on my face.

The way he stares at me with such hunger while his face is buried between my thighs has me wondering how long he’s been starving for a closeness like ours. His warm breath stimulates my senses and clouds my thoughts as I moan louder for him. He reaches his hand past my stomach to grab my breast and my legs involuntarily clasp his head tight from the intensely satisfying sensation brought on by his skillful tongue. He grasps my knees in an instant and spreads my legs apart, forcing me to revel in the excitement of pure euphoria. My hands find their way to his head and he holds them in his while the green hue in his irises grow. I pull him over me, my delicate hands still in his strong grasp and he hovers for a mere second before sliding his entire length inside of me. He wraps his hands around my dainty wrists and softly pins my arms down over my head, then he glides his hands down my arms and sides. They travel my skin like a map leading him to my heart. He cups my breasts and buries his face in them, licking each nipple as he pulls out slowly and pushes back in a little faster. With each thrust, he slides quicker and deeper, working me to the sound of my moans. His stare alone is electrifying and I ask myself if this is still a dream as his touch and this pleasure feel incredibly real.

He lifts himself up caressing his hands underneath my legs and stretches them over his chest, resting them on his shoulders while his hand sneaks between my thighs and his thumb rubs gently against my clit. A combination that brought me close to climax and caused my legs to quiver. He could see it on my face, though I’m sure my loud screams gave way to my near orgasmic release and he grinned with self pride just before he dropped my legs, spreading them open and crawling over my trembling body to kiss my supple lips. He continued thrusting roughly now using the headboard as a clutch, biting his lip while watching my breasts bounce. He couldn’t hold back much longer and groaned deep as we climaxed together. He fell on top of me and rolled off, careful not to crush my weary body but his fingers still felt along my curves and soon were lost in my black hair.

The passion didn’t end with the sex. He held me naked for hours while we talked and laughed. He continued kissing my neck and shoulder while we shared our stories. I turned on my side to look into his golden hazel eyes and was utterly entranced by the green specks in them as he stared back.

“You’re my only, Dani,” he paused as he laced his fingers with mine. “When someone finds their only, they’re connected to that person. The connection doesn’t break or fade. It’s forever, we’re forever.”

“I’ll never lose you?”

“Never.” His tone changed from serious to playfully romantic as he started kissing me all over. “My favorite spots to kiss on you are the random freckles I find. They’re hidden everywhere, like here.” He kissed my neck. “Here and here.” He kissed two on my back; one on my shoulder blade and one on my lower back. “And here.” He kissed one on my hip. “And my personal favorite.” He moved slowly down and said, “Here.” He breathed sensually as he kissed my inner thigh. I trembled with every rousing kiss.

He was incredible in every way, I didn’t want the night to end. I fell asleep in his arms and I didn’t dream up a thing. It was utopian.

Dead Inside

I don’t want to be alive

My soul is crushed by the weight of the world

My heart has been ever deprived

My existence means nothing anymore

 

I don’t believe that I can thrive

This crack reaches deep into my core

I should have never taken the dive

How could I think I would ever soar?

 

I’m not built to survive

When they break down every single door

Use words as weapons to connive

Push and kick me to the floor

 

And so it appears hate has arrived

There’s nothing left to adore

So why the hell am I still alive?

I suppose it’s time to settle the score

Watching, Waiting

You sit motionless in your chair

Watching

Waiting

Stars drip their romance upon my figure

Hips sway with each step

Bringing me closer to you

Long hair falls down my back

And I finally reach you in the dark

With tresses tickling your flesh

Tongues playing in a heat

Breath escaping erratically

 

I tremble

Under my moon-soaked skin

When your hands meet my soft curves

Lips travel softly

Moans find freedom in you

I trace my fingers along your muscles

Digging my nails slightly deeper

With slow, strong strokes

You stir in your seat

Still watching

Still waiting

 

I drink in the desire

That seeps from your pores

I tingle from your firm touch

You tell my body what to do

With your low savage groans

And forcible grip of my waist

My bones listen to your commands

They bend to your fire

We melt into a dreamed-up

Puddle of passion on the floor

Yes, you watch but you don’t wait

 

Have me

I scream and I’m yours

I belong to nothing but your stare

No one but you

You steal fantasies from my eyes

Everything I thought I wanted

Has been overtaken

By my craving for you

Then you spill your wildness in me

And watch me take it

No longer waiting

Smokey Seduction

I watch his wispy smoke

Dancing in the air around us

As it escapes from behind his lips

And all I want

Is to taste it on his tongue

To breathe in the fumes he exhales

Traveling through his lungs

Slipping from his throat

Filling me with his fog

While his hand tangles in my hair

Tugging my head back to expose my neck

Tasting my skin with the deepest hunger

His dark eyes now distracted

Studying clouds that flood out of my mouth

Just before he attacks it

Claiming my lips with his

Because what other purpose do they serve

When talk is nothing but cheap?

And what good is a tongue

If it savors not a thing?

Tell me, baby, what you want

With your mouth and hands

I’ll make sure you never go without

But first

Let me hit that stick between your fingers

And breathe my passion into you

Little Fairies (Part 3)

Nixie rolled another blunt and placed it between her lips, reaching over Trevor for the lighter. He awkwardly smelled her as her hair lightly feathered his face and she gave him a look that said, “No way in hell.” He backed off and waited as she took a couple puffs but to his vexation, she never passed it to him as proper weed etiquette would have it.

“Puff puff pass, baby. It’s my turn.”

“Huh? Oh, this isn’t for you.”

“But we’re sharing.”

“We were and now we’re not.”

“Why are you such a bitch all the time?”

“Why are you such an asshole?” She looked at him like she might just throat punch him for daring to speak to her that way. Truthfully, she considered it but fortunately for him, the pot was doing an excellent job at calming her mind and she was ready to leave before he could ruin her much needed high. She took an arrogantly long puff just to tease the aggravated boy staring back at her. She took it a step further by blowing her smoke in his face with a brazen smirk just before standing to her feet and walking away, leaving him all alone on the beach with no girl and no weed.

“Where are you going? I drove you here.”

“I can walk, thanks. Enjoy your sober night.”

She trudged across the sandy beach floor and found the street in a matter of minutes. Walking home wasn’t her ideal method of commute but she would find it more tolerable than rounding up the others and enduring the car ride listening to their lips smacking and incessant giggling. It’s not like she couldn’t let loose and have fun too, she just didn’t mix well with this group and the last time she ran wild along the beach with them, she met her match in Easton. He got her, and nobody ever gets her. And then he left without so much as a goodbye. Oh well, that’s what men do, they leave.

As she walked home remembering her sad past and smirking at how ridiculous it sounded to be in high school and to have a “past,” a car pulled up beside her with the brights on showing no end to the road ahead. She stopped and looked inside the window that was already rolled down.

“Need a ride?” A boy asked from inside.

“Maybe.”

“You don’t have to be difficult, Nix. Just get in.”

She froze involuntarily at the sound of her nickname spilling from another boy’s lips. Her mind flashed back to a time when Easton was the only one who called her that.

***

They lay on his bedroom floor dreaming of their future together. It didn’t matter that she was only fifteen and he was barely seventeen, that didn’t stop them from making plans to run away and forget this place ever existed to them.

“I’m going to save you from this life, Nix. You don’t belong here and this town doesn’t deserve you. I’ll give you more someday, I promise.”

“Why do I believe you?”

“Because you’re the only person I never lie to.” He leaned into her and kissed her like no boy has ever kissed her. She knew this was the passion that most girls had to wait years before tasting yet here it was smeared on her lips and pressed against her chest because Easton kissed with his whole body.

***

“You getting in or not?” The boy asked, once again interrupting her thoughts.

She slipped out of her trance and into his car. It was strangely clean for a teenage boy’s car which gave her the impression that it actually belonged to his parents.

“Mystic Lane, right?”

“How do you know where I live?”

“Relax, Nix, it’s me. I’m not exactly a stranger. Besides, I don’t know which house is yours, just the street.”

“Why are talking to me like you know me so well?”

“Really? Do you not remember that we used to hang out all the time or did those memories disappear when he did?”

“What? Why would you bring him up like that?”

“Jesus, you’re so on edge. I’m allowed to talk about him. You’re not the only one he left behind.”

“Charlie, that’s right. I forgot-”

“Forgot what? That he had a best friend outside of your little shared world?”

“Ok, I’m sorry. Do you want me to get out? I can walk, I don’t really care.”

“No, don’t be stupid.”

“Why are you so annoyed with me? I’ve barely said anything.”

“It’s been three months. When are you going to join the rest of us in reality?”

He was entirely too serious and she wasn’t high enough for this surprise confrontation. “Do you care if I smoke in here?”

“Of course not. Remember when we used to hotbox in here?” He asked with a laugh. His face turned serious though and he added, “Shit, it’s like you’re not even you without him.”

“Can you stop bringing him up, please?”

He pulled up to a stop sign and looked directly at her, “Do you have to be home right now?”

“Nope, just have nowhere else to be.”

“Well, now you do.” He turned the car around just as they reached her street and suddenly she knew where he was taking her.

She locked eyes with his and smiled with a look that said, “I remember.” Then she slipped the joint between his lips just like the old days when their group would smoke and drive until they reached their spot.