Amen

Take the ugly from my veins

That hate my body

And corrupt my brain

Quiet the voices in my head

That say I’m better off just dead

Free my heart from it’s steel cage

Built of sadness, fear and rage

Find my soul, wandering lost

Bring it back at any cost

Forgive my angry words of doubt

Show me faith when I’m without

Teach my spirit a sweet, new song

Maybe I’ll smile when things go wrong

Break My Body

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I still feel you

I feel your rivers rush through me as they carry my bones to places they’ve never been

I watch the storms in your eyes as you taste my fears

My wildness is your favorite flavor

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I lie in the chaos of your spilled words while you drink from our feverish haze

I adore them for they feed my heart passion

You break my body to fit yours

Desire flushes me in a pink cloud with fire tempting my skin

These are the nights our souls crave

We live in the raw

Mountains of my Soul

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My soul doesn’t belong here. The moon calls on my heart to explore a sweeter land. The mountains pull me in deeper. They demand my presence. They long for the simplest embrace of my fingertips against the leaves of their trees. They crave for the wild winds to flow through me and steal my soul for them.

Where shall I thrive? Where is my home? You are my home, dear mountains. You hold my heart high on your peaks. My spirit is lost in your forests. Or is it found there?

You haunt my dreams because I am not with you. These dreams I have are far more than that. They are plans, hopes, urges. They are not forgotten. They are not in vain.

You draw me closer with each day. With each breath, I am yours. You have me. I ache to feel my toes in your earth. To soak in your waters. My skin tingles as I taste your air. I’ll breathe you in as if it’s the last time, everytime. I write my poetry for you, oh mountains of my soul.

I will find you, that I promise. I will follow, this I swear. I envision your sweet song giving birth to great adventure underneath my bones. I revel in it as it overtakes me.

And I know, this is my destiny.

Almost Sane

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I’m not in denial

I know I’m a flake. I’m a moocher, a liar, a procrastinator. A pushover, an enabler, a loner and a fool.

I won’t seek forgiveness.

I flake because I’m sick and tired. I mooch out of necessity. I lie to keep everyone safe from my truths. And I procrastinate from being overwhelmed.

I’m afraid to stand up for myself. I fear confrontation. I play dumb to keep others from seeing that I know too much. I’m a loner from being let down so often and judged by everyone. And I’m a fool for all my unspoken thoughts.

I’m still a beautiful soul.

I love deeply, I sing sweetly, I hold dearly. I’m passionate when no one is watching. I’m strong when no one expects it. I’m happy and hopeful. I’m a dreamer at heart and a realist from experience. I laugh fully and I believe in myself.

Why should I change?