Life After Death

It’s raining on this sweet summer night

Pitter patter on the petals of the tree

The tree that stands and holds on tight

Through every storm with all it’s might


I wrote a poem when my cousin died

Had no idea she was a poet as well

It’s funny how we suddenly show pride

In broken seashells washed up from the tide


Gloomy skies often remind me of her

As it rained the day she passed away

My childhood memories are such a blur

Oh, how I regret that we weren’t closer


But I can feel her in the summer sun

And I still see her in the blushing pink

Of soft petals on bright flowers undone

As Earth resembles the life of one

To Ashley, another poetic soul.


I live deep inside my dreamy head

Where fantasy is real and reality is dead

And I’ve forgotten all the tears I’ve shed

From all the evil things he’s said


A place only I know could exist

Where words hit hard like a steel fist

Where he and I never kissed

And my love in no way goes dismissed


A beautiful world where I can be weird

Where all hate has disappeared

And my true wildness isn’t feared

My pure self can’t be interfered


An imaginary life of happy lies

With hidden truths in a sweet disguise

Where something forms from the simplest of hi’s

And a man finds his answers in my eyes


When stars flicker just for us and nights never have to end

Is it really so wrong for me to pretend?

Me Without You

I lost myself in a dream of you

Only to find

Our reality was my nightmare

I slowly burned my morals

For you

Picking apart my very soul

To please the dark in you

I bathed myself in a pool

Of self-loathing thoughts

I chipped my heart away

Until my love was nothing more

Than shattered remnants of

A beautiful soul cast out




Maybe you didn’t notice

If only

You would loosen your grip

On my aching heart

You might see

The flicker in the dust

The flame in the ashes

The glow in the shadows

Of our bitter truth

The filth that

Love couldn’t reach

You can’t see it


That fire that grows

That blaze that burns

Slightly brighter everyday

Is me

Rebirthing for something new

You don’t own me

Your control is slipping

And finally

I can breathe again

I can be me

Without you

And that kills you

My resurrection is killing you

But I won’t stop

You’ll never stifle me

I remember who I am

Away from you

And I adore

Every bit of me

Because Black is Your Favorite Color

You stare fearfully from across the room

As the darkness seeps from inside my head

It escapes, spilling from these eyes of gloom

And drips upon the edge of this bed


You watch it writhing in its own filthy pool

Staining sheets and skin with a mystic splash

Remembering the times you played me for a fool

When you were god and I, your trash


I hated you, the black, it grew

It festered, filling every thought

Now it flows, it’s coming for you

For all your sins, you will be caught


I look at you with bleeding eyes

Are you scared of me and all my hate?

I smile wickedly at your terror-filled cries

You should be, dear, for I’ve sealed your fate


Currently listening to Control by Halsey

Who am I?

Who am I?

I search for the answer in the souls of others

What I find is all too misleading

To men, I am nothing more than my curves

Something to lust after and grope

I am a pretty face with a tragic heart

With my heart as an obstacle and my face the target


Who am I?

If you ask my mother

I am a wonderful creature that can do no wrong

A light in the dark

A burst of magic in a dreary world

The sweetest pair of sunshine eyes

Her own little piece of happiness


Who am I though?

If you ask my sister

I’m a promiscuous being

A wild flirt turning chaos into adventure

I’m fun and free and full of life

A belly full of laughs

And a mind full of dreams


Still, who am I?

If you ask my husband

I’m a great mother and a caring wife

A sweet girl with a lost soul

Indecisive, lonely and scared

A hopeless romantic who’s forgotten how to love

Someone who can’t be trusted


But who am I?

If you ask me, I have no clue

I’m a wildfire consuming life in its path

I’m a daring fool with an open heart

The most selfish selfless person to walk this Earth

I’m a carefree, spirited lover

With an emptiness that has yet to be filled


Maybe now you don’t want to know me

But if you still do, good luck

Little Fairies (Part 4)

His eyes wandered about her as if to learn who she had become since he last saw her. She used to be this carefree being, fun and full of passion, but now she was cautious and guarded. Easton’s disappearance had turned her into something she wasn’t and Charlie was strangely determined to get the old Nixie back. Why did it matter to him? She was right, they barely knew each other but that wouldn’t stop him from trying. He couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of being responsible for her since it was his best friend who loved her and left her. But more than that, he needed her to believe that Easton wasn’t a bad guy, that he wouldn’t just abandon them so suddenly without a reason.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, like you just realized you don’t know me.”

“I don’t. You’re different now.”

“Is that bad?”

“I don’t know yet. But I kinda miss the old you who used to do cartwheels in the sand in your underwear and then complain about sand in your bra-”

“So I would skinny dip in the ocean. I remember those nights.” She passed the joint to him and he inhaled deep then exhaled softly, sending out a smooth stream of smoke that hit the windshield and floated back in their faces just before seeping out of the cracks of the slightly opened windows.

“Do something. Something crazy that would wake her up again and shock the shit out of me.”

“Like what?”

“If I tell you what to do then you wouldn’t be surprising me.”

“Can’t we just chill?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

She sighed with smoke spilling from her mouth and nose as she contemplated her next move. She couldn’t resist his charming smile, it completely captivated her attention. The radio was playing quietly and a song from her past filled the space between them with its low bass and fast beat. A smile creeped along her face and she took a long hard drag before exiting the car. “Turn it up!” She yelled from in front of the car.

He turned the volume up pretty loud and his lowlights on to see her better with. He couldn’t hide the smile that spread across his face as he watched her body move to the beat of the blaring music. She was good, too good. He never knew she could dance to hip hop, it wasn’t exactly their favorite genre to listen to with the group but this was an old school tune so she must have learned it before they ever met.

Every move was perfect like they were engraved into her brain and her body was a mere puppet being manipulated by a skilled hand. Soon the song ended but she didn’t come back inside the car. As a slow song played next, she continued dancing in a more sensual way with her hips swaying seductively and her hair flowing in the cool breeze. She removed the jacket her mother cautioned her to wear, slowly sliding it off her arms and onto the ground. It was then that Charlie noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra as he caught sight of her nipples hardening in the coolness of the night air. He quickly looked away reminding himself that she wasn’t his to look at. But he was high and she was still dancing and he could feel his self control growing weaker with every passing second. He laid eyes on her again, watching her feel the music with her soft curves. He was a stone statue sitting there ogling a girl who wasn’t meant for him. His smile faded and desire took its place as he licked his lips wanting more of something he couldn’t have. He fought the urge to grab her with all his might until his brain was compromised by lustful thoughts and overpowered by a strong stirring deep inside of him.

“Fuck it.” He said to himself in a low groan and stepped out of the car faster than he could contemplate his actions. He sauntered to her and met her promiscuous smile with his own hungry smirk. He didn’t utter a word, he only grasped her waist and pulled her into him. She threw her arms over his shoulders and tickled the back of his neck with lingering fingers. He leaned in close but stopped before touching his lips to hers.

“Charlie,” she whispered his name like it was all he needed to hear to taste her lips.

Instead, it did the exact opposite. He pulled away and shook his head trying to wake up from the daze she held him in.

“What’s wrong?” She was confused, nothing had happened but he was upset, guilty even.

“You’re not mine, that’s what’s wrong. We should go.”

“No, I don’t want to go home.”

“Get in the car, Nix.”

“No. It’s not your job to worry about me. You’re right, I’m not yours but I’m not his either. He left, he’s gone. I’m allowed to move on.”

“So why haven’t you? You’re stuck in this state of sadness. I see you moping around the halls, getting high in between classes and hanging out with jerks like Trevor. It’s like you’re not even real anymore, you’re a freakin’ ghost.”

“So, what are you doing with me right now? Trying to fix me? To save me from myself?”

“No! I don’t know. Yes. Is it so wrong that I want to help you be you again?”

“If you’re doing it for him, then yes. Wake up, Charlie. He’s gone.”

“He’ll be back, trust me.”

“Oh, my God. You’re the one that needs to move on, not me. He’s not coming back. You need to know that.”

“He wasn’t supposed to leave without us. We had a plan and he wrecked it all. All we had to do was graduate and then we could go anywhere. It doesn’t make sense that he would just leave us behind like he did. He’ll be back, I know it.”

“Excuse me if I don’t share in your wishful thinking but he broke my heart so I’m done talking about him. We were having fun before we started arguing about.. him.”

“Easton. What, are you afraid to say his name?”

“I hope he doesn’t come back and then we won’t have to explain to him why your hand was on my ass a minute ago.”

“Good God, you’re insufferable. Just get in the car so I can take you home already.”

“We’re not that far, I’ll walk.”

“You’re not walking. Get in.”

Nixie didn’t have the patience to argue anymore and she wasn’t waiting for him to grow a pair of balls and kiss her the way he wanted to before he gained a conscience. She grabbed his arm and pushed him up against the car with her full lips, holding him there longer with her soft tongue exploring his mouth. He didn’t fight it, he couldn’t. He wanted it just as badly as she did, maybe even more. Of course he wanted it more, she was a sight dancing provocatively for him in a tiny, see-through tank and itty bitty shorts. He wondered if she skipped out on wearing panties too but he battled with the urge to slip his fingers under her jean shorts to find out. Just then, she pressed her chest against his so he could feel her hard nipples poking him softly through his shirt. She was really nudging him past the point of no return and he needed to intervene quickly before he crossed that invisible line that couldn’t be ignored for too long.

It was too late. She moaned softly in his mouth and he lost the strength to hold back. He lifted her by the thighs and squeezed them tightly in his firm grip. She wasn’t some stick-skinny girl, she had a great body with luscious curves and he loved that about her. For a thin frame, she had thick thighs and a juicy ass that he couldn’t wait to bite into but he told himself he wouldn’t let it get that far since she was only fifteen.

Fifteen, fuck! He dropped her to her feet and turned to open the car door for her, then he looked at her and said, “It’s late. Let me get you home.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Fine.” She slipped into the passenger’s seat and crossed her arms over her chest.

Suddenly, she was quite aware that her nipples were visible through her shirt and she felt ashamed for throwing herself at someone who didn’t seem to want her. He picked up her jacket from the ground and brought it to her so she could cover herself back up.

What has gotten into her? She never threw herself at Trevor after all the times he tried something. So why was she all over Charlie? Besides his soft lips and blue-grey eyes, his strong arms that could lift her up with one swoop and his sexy smile that held her gaze, he was just a guy like all the rest. There’s nothing special about him. She kept feeding herself that same line the entire drive home but no matter how many times she recited it in her mind, it didn’t stop her from seeing him in a different light than the rest of them. He was different and she couldn’t fight her attraction to him.

Drowning In You

You are the wildest ocean to lick my skin

Your eyes

The softest blue to ever swallow me

Your hands

The untamed waves that caress my form

Groping me in places that were meant to be hidden

But I have never been good at hiding

From the touch of a ravenous sea

So deep

So powerful


I thirst for all of you

I drink in your ripples

Until you choke me

I’m drifting deeper into you

Searching for a shore to save me


I panic

You splash

I don’t know how

To stop from drowning in your depths

And you don’t know how

To let me swim freely

So I fill my lungs with your current

Your tide carries me with a bold force

To new, softer waters

Where I find my own way

For I’ve been floating in you for far too long


I claim the shore

As I learn to walk again

And every now and then

I come back

If only just to dip

My toes in you

Once more

Poetry In Her Eyes

Did you forget

The first time you felt lost in a stunning stare

Only to realize

You were found in that pair

Of beautifully entrancing brown eyes


Did you forget

The electric surge so rare

That pierced through your feeble disguise

Releasing your every care

Barrelling through the lies


Did you forget

How they demolished your every despair

Stealing constellations from the skies

Giving life to a new air

Where she is your glorious prize


Did you forget

That fiercely dreamy glare

Luring deep desirous sighs

That undeniably enticing dare

Drawing out your feverish cries


Did you forget

The poetry you spoke from a single flare

Igniting a spark as soon as it flies

Undressing your heart until it’s bare

Living a dream before it dies


Don’t forget when you found in me

That powerful need to be free

Dead Inside

I don’t want to be alive

My soul is crushed by the weight of the world

My heart has been ever deprived

My existence means nothing anymore


I don’t believe that I can thrive

This crack reaches deep into my core

I should have never taken the dive

How could I think I would ever soar?


I’m not built to survive

When they break down every single door

Use words as weapons to connive

Push and kick me to the floor


And so it appears hate has arrived

There’s nothing left to adore

So why the hell am I still alive?

I suppose it’s time to settle the score

Watching, Waiting

You sit motionless in your chair



Stars drip their romance upon my figure

Hips sway with each step

Bringing me closer to you

Long hair falls down my back

And I finally reach you in the dark

With tresses tickling your flesh

Tongues playing in a heat

Breath escaping erratically


I tremble

Under my moon-soaked skin

When your hands meet my soft curves

Lips travel softly

Moans find freedom in you

I trace my fingers along your muscles

Digging my nails slightly deeper

With slow, strong strokes

You stir in your seat

Still watching

Still waiting


I drink in the desire

That seeps from your pores

I tingle from your firm touch

You tell my body what to do

With your low savage groans

And forcible grip of my waist

My bones listen to your commands

They bend to your fire

We melt into a dreamed-up

Puddle of passion on the floor

Yes, you watch but you don’t wait


Have me

I scream and I’m yours

I belong to nothing but your stare

No one but you

You steal fantasies from my eyes

Everything I thought I wanted

Has been overtaken

By my craving for you

Then you spill your wildness in me

And watch me take it

No longer waiting